5:00 p.m.
I think I learned that you can study too much. Or maybe I learned that I am just not good at grammar, because no matter how much I study, I don't get much better. I am freaking out.
7:00 p.m.
I had a paradigm shift that led me to be able to put the grammar test stress in proper perspective.
Some background on me - in high school (1985) I worked for an architect to see if that was a good career option for me. I made friends with the draftsmen who also worked there, who were nice returned missionaries still in college. I ended up choosing marriage and family over career and did not pursue architecture in the long run.
Recently, I "friended" the drafters on Facebook, and one of them reached out to me via Messenger. I told him of my interest in becoming an interior designer and asked what he could tell me about it. My interior design teacher had some rather discouraging news about the income of a designer, but I was still interested enough to ask my friend's opinion.
It turns out that my friend is one of the top architects in the state and has done projects and has connections that architects and designers would drool over. He has designed enormous and complex buildings, restaurants, spacious homes, and office buildings...that are breathtaking!! He offered to let me come meet his designers - which will give me amazing connections with amazing people!! And then it hit me - toward the end of my 10-hour grammar test studying day - me passing this test will not end my career!
That is totally different thinking for me. I was a 4.0 gpa student pre-BYU and haven't gotten lower than a B+ here...yet. I really think I might fail this test, but the fear isn't so gripping now that I have direction and hope. Not having direction made me feel I had to be amazing at everything. Now I feel I need to be amazing at just those things that will help me toward my goal. I have been very spread out - trying to develop all of my talents and interests. It has been fun, but exhausting.
I didn't stop studying, but the fear was put into perspective. I believe that the most important things for me to learn at this time are: be professional in my writing, speaking, and presentations, learn to have those crucial and difficult conversations that are so vital in business (and personal life). Be personable, honest, and dependable. I have heard that those skills are valuable in any career. If I have those down, I can learn the specific skills I need for the various careers I am interested in. As a designer, researcher, trainer, public speaker, singer, writer, or whatever path I choose, those are vital skills to have.
I plan to ask the designer if he would be interested in an intern while I study the elements and principles of design. I'm so excited!! :)
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